Let me tell you a few stories about watermelons.

Story #1

I like gardening, and a couple of years ago, I tried to grow watermelons. And perhaps this is obvious to everyone except me, but when you’re growing watermelons, you have to water them a lot. Like, a LOT. I watered my patch every day, with many litres, and even then, I only managed to grow one fairly small watermelon. As it turns out, watermelons are full of water.

Story #2

When I was about 18, a mate of mine (who always liked to do strange things with alcohol) told me about this trick where you cut a small hole into a watermelon, up-end a bottle of vodka into it, and empty the entire bottle into the melon. Apparently, after letting it sit for a bit, you can cut open the watermelon, cut it into slices, and eat it like a normal watermelon. Except, you guessed it – it’s full of vodka. Alcoholic watermelon. A watermelon full of vodka.

Story #3

It's a watermelon full of beer. It's a beermelon. More at

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Yesterday, Newstead Brewing Co tapped their one-off keg of Phase 4 Watermelon Belgian Quad. So last night, my wife and I headed over there for date night.

You know you've married a good one when you have date night at Newstead Brewing Co, at her request.

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Here’s their description of it:

“7kg of caramelised watermelon laden over an intense quadruple backbone. Belgian yeast add a subtle bubblegum and estery nose, which gives way to sweet watermelon and spices. An alcoholic warmth floods the palate, with raisins and cherry at the back.”

Here’s my description of it:

“It’s a watermelon full of beer.  It’s a beermelon.”

Seriously. It smells like wheat beer, but then the taste… you know how when the watermelon has been in the fridge a little too long, and it gets really dark pink, and a bit sludgy, and it hasn’t gone bad but it’s kinda begun to ferment and it’s super sweet and also has a bit of tartness to it? Add a little wheat-beeriness to that, and it’s exactly what it tastes like. My wife adored it. And while it isn’t exactly what I’m looking for in a beer… it was certainly an experience.


So it was a good night. We spent a while talking with Karl behind the bar, who was very excited and knowledgeable about good Quads, and regaled us with heroic tales of heading to Belgium to buy beer. And with his help, we tried a few other tipples, including Bad Beans Brown by Rocks Brewing Co, which had everything good about burnt coffee, but somehow nothing bad from it.

Working for beer.

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So, Newstead Brewing Co – cheers for the evening.

P.S. There was an orange on one of the counters. The whole time. I want to know why the orange was there. I never found out.

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